Avoid this mistake if you’re trying to convince someone

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Mistake, Oops, Dead, Death, Graveyard, Cemetery

I bet we have all said “no, you’re wrong” in arguments. Whenever we don’t agree with someone, we typically announce we are right and the other side is wrong to persuade them into our way of thinking. Well, saying “you’re wrong and I’m right” is the equivalent of saying I’m smart and you’re dumb. We all know no one likes to feel inferior. 

Like everyone else, Odin experienced situations where he needed to persuade people. Last time we mentioned the best way to get the most out of an argument is to: Avoid it! However, there may be an exceptional time period where you need to “argue” with the other side to persuade them. 

Let me start off by clarifying this, most of us think of the word argument as something negative. However, there may be exceptional situations where you need to indulge in an argument to persuade the other side to your way of thinking. 

Whenever Odin had to indulge in an argument for the sake of persuading the other side, he would start with sentences like “I may be wrong but” or “I think if I have not misunderstood” and then continue with “Let’s examine the facts” to defuse tensions and make sure the other side did not get defensive. 

Starting with such sentences helped Odin establish cooperation rather than competition. Odin always made sure to be polite and understanding when trying to persuade. Being polite helped him win lots of people to his way of thinking or at least helped him establish cooperation that would later on work in his favor. 

Sometimes people may need time to adapt to your way of thinking, persuasion may not be instant in certain scenarios. It is important to establish cooperation and trust to make sure a friendly encounter does not turn into an adversary encounter for the other side. 

Authors Note

In this book, we examine Odin’s notebooks to learn how to win friends and influence people from him. We wish our readers don’t just simply read this story but also try to learn from Odin. 

Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Purchase book on Amazon)

Lesson(s)

  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

As Galileo once said “You can not teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself “. Do not try and attack a person’s opinion and try to directly change their mind. That will only raise opposition and only make him self justify. Never begin by announcing that you are going to prove someone wrong. That is bad. It is the equivalent of saying I’m smarter than you. Using phrases such as “I may be wrong” or “I think if I have not misunderstood”  will defuse tensions and make sure the other person does not get defensive. You can continue on to say “Let’s examine the facts” once you start in a friendly way. 

  • Begin in a friendly way 

Notice: All of the entities and locations mentioned in this story are fictional.

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